Paradigm Shifting Suffering

I take personal safety as a calculated risk. If I'm the pilot I  give loose restraints to my choice. Occasionally, I get to kiss  death on the cheek, speed away with a two fingered devil horn  salute, a glance or two in the rear view... and a whew. On these  days I think about my life and what I've accomplished. What would I  like to say as my last breathe of words... what comes to mind is,  "Wow that was fun, wow nature is ruthless and brutal, can't believe  I lasted this long, too bad so many humans are douche bags, I hope  I confused, concerned, enlightened, twisted or "even better" loved  you, I hope I don't have to do this again, and how many square  meters of fire does my family own exactly, be nice to each other  dumbass fucking meat puppets... do you realize how small this  sphere is? and how much damage I could incur to this tiny little  ball of dirt if I really had decided to? He's out there and he's  working on it already. Be safe, be nice, be respectful, be  generous, and be strong.

Seriously, I've value everyone and to the animals I ate a special  BIG ups. Some of you were an instance of pure love prepared by some  one with love for me. I fell in love more than once while eating  your flesh. I've thought of it often and still eat meat sorry, I'm  a Devil. However I did try and appreciate the countless lives of  livestock and insects I've killed along my journey. Tis a brital  world sucks to be you. Today, in shower I saw a grand daddy long  legs spider crawling along the edge. I thought "wow I bet these  giant water drops are deadly to his tiny little spindly legs," So I  cupped my hands under the shower head and diverted water on top of  his location in space time. I just wanted to see if he was truly  that delicate. His legs immediately collapsed under the weight and  the surface tension in the small water puddle held him crippled. I  returned later to see him lifeless. I thought wow, how cruel a God  would create a life so delicate that heavy rain water or a  philosopher in a shower would be so deadly.

Suffering to me is a completely unessecary and God who loves you in  any way would not have created such game full of danger and pain.  Why is it that you even know what safe and pleasurable feel like? Because you need to know what pain feels like? Seems pretty cruel idea that such a violent beast would be trying to comfort me at all? It's  good to be top of the food chain, but just witness the vicious  killing machine that compromises nature. It survives on death and  destruction. I'm most afraid of it. Call it God, Creator, Jah, etc.  It's not something I would worship out of respect or love. Rather,  if I worshipped at all, it would probably be due to intimidation  and fear, but instead I signed up to be in my family so that I maY USE EVERY LAST jEDI SKILL IN ORDER TO END SUFFERING ALTOGETHER. The architect is violent... it gave me the idea of violence. I bring passivism to a violent source in order to request changes. SUFFERING MUST END BY SOME FUNDAMENTAL TWEAK IN REALITY. I'M HERE TO PUSH ON THAT TWEAK.