Fremont Troll Stroll

Oh shit! What a beautiful Seattle Spring Day. What a lot of fucking beer. So TDoug and myself head down to Fremont at noon. Damn the line was around the block. So we go get ourselves a beer at a local dive bar. Head back to the line... still around the corner. Apparently 1100 people on this stroll. Stephanie showed up and got shitty on her lemon drops. I blacked out around the end. Not before giving a homeless friend 100 bucks. LOL. I could have used that money for a hooker. Damn it!

2 Day Cocaine Binge (Better than a 3 day Binge)

Ouch! I hurt. So, anyhow a dear frined of mine gave me about 250 dollars worth of Blow. Which I was, in turn, supposed to give to friends to help him get rid of. I don't know how many of you have done Blow, but it turns me into a horny jackass incapable of getting a boner. Kind of a Catch 22. Frustrating to say the least. On with the story... my friend picks me up at Dad Watson's where I was having dinner with Kevin Rice. Kevin was my old boss at Adobe Systems. He's a kindred spirit. We then go have a few drinks. We stop back at my place. He gives me the shit. We do a couple of lines about 9pm. I tell myself that's it since I need to work in the morning. It's Tuesday. Well after he leaves I do a lil more. Then a lil more. Then a lil more. At around 7am I figure "Well I guess I'm not goin to work today". I email my boss my sick day email. Then I proceed to snort an entire 40bag by 9am.

Okay, now it's time to watch some porn... which remained on for the entire day. Later that night a couple of friends drop by for a bit. I am lying there on the sofa... incapable of speaking at this point since I am so high. My entire body from the neck down is numb... numb in a good way I tell you. Anyhow a couple of hours go by. I kind of ask them to leave... or at least hinted at it a lot until they finally did. I could barely walk. I WAS SO FUCKING HIGH! BUT CRASHING FAST! The time was about 9pm. I downed 3 tylenol PMs and passed out.

The next morning... I felt pretty good. Shocker. But my life force was weakening. Oh right... I had not eaten in 2 days. Must get food on way to work. So I jump in the shower. Nose cleaning time. This is really the unglamorous part of doing BLOW. I snort some water. And start to blow my nose clean. Hold one nostril. I blow with all my might. A few small buggers fly out. But something just broke loose. Now when I breathe out of that nostril, it's like there is a value opening and closing. Okay this will get it. One final blow as hard as I can! With a burst of freedom it dislodges with a slight popping sound. The speeding bugger hits the shower wall with a thud. It looked like a dime sized corn flake soaked in bloody slime. Lovely, now why do I do this? Can't get a boner, can't eat, burning a hole thru my nose, and 250 can be gone in an instant. HMMM? Because it feels pretty good to be in that numb state. And the ritual of racking lines and rolling dollars is fun to me.

2 weeks and counting.

So I've got 2 weeks left in this grey town. Emerald City my ass. When you are having a rough time and constantly depressed this place sucks. "Oh what do you know? It's grey, cold and rainy again. Fuck this! I hate this place. Arrrrgh." So remaining at my desk for the next 2 weeks is going to be unbearable. Although I really can use that last pay check and dental appointment.

I have my regrests no doubt about coming back. Especially staying with Ed. What a fucking bad idea that was. Best left unsaid... if you don't know already. Anyhow at least now I have a criminal record. That always looks good on an artist's resume.

I am glad I came back to put closure on me and Stacie's divorce. Now I am moving away sad, not angry like before. This is better. I will miss the friends that I've made here in Seattle: The Launs, Sassy, Kenneth, Dawne, Slatton, Marlowe, Carly, Blane, Sherri, TDoug, Reiley, Rosie, Raven, etc. (The rest of you know I love you just as much as well.)

I hope that I land on my feet. Because one never knows. I am looking forward to the adventure. I can almost taste the freedom. Damn it tastes good. I pray that I improve my health, find peace, find a wife and make some babies.

I'll be sitting at this desk watching youtube for the next 2 weeks. Peace out!

Depression Happiness and Somewhere in the Middle

So off I go again. I am moving to New Orleans for a few months to get my head straight and help my mother out. She hasn't been well. I am bringing my airplane and will be helping in the "Rebuild New Orleans Project". Basically a huge habitat for humanity thingy. I'm looking forward to spending time with my family and nurishing my soul.

I'm really looking forward to flying in my plane with my dad.

Then I am serioulsy going to move to Costa Rica maybe temporarily or maybe permanently. We'll see where it goes.

I will be keeping this blog up to date from here on out. Because ahead lay quite an adventure.

Open Again To the Public

So my life is to be shared. No need to hide behind the truth. Time to open up the blog. Hate me, Love me, Indifferent to me... I really don't give a fuck. The truth will be told eventually anyway... and things I don't tell will be spread through rumors anyhow. I am alive. I've thought about 86'ing myself lately. But I have to admit, I'm as curious as you are as to how this journey will end. So I think I'm gonna ride it out. Hold onto your seats... because I have a feeling the end won't be pretty. Poetic yes... pretty NO. Oh BTW... this blog is best read from the beginning. and those of you that think this is just some joke or cry for attention? Try living... it ain't pretty but it is real. Mutha Fukkas!

-Loveless Forever