I'm staying in Seattle for a bit longer

Living with my friend Ed. We're gonna try to fix up his house and sell it. May take a few months. I've done some more art since being home. But have been adjusting to not being absolutely balls out nuts in Europe.

Oh I got Ed fired. Oops. But more time to work on the house with me.

A letter from my friend...

To Chris Loveless

Let me see, where do I start?

The first day I met you? Aha, yes we came into a pub Annika & I with lollypops, they had all colours of the rainbow. You were sitting in the corner, drawing. We went to sit at the bar, cause Marco is my favourite barkeeper. We always make jokes. It is having fun in the bar ‘t Centrum. So you asked Marco while he is serving, what all the fun is about? And he said: Mushrooms! So you came to sit at the bar and we told you about a commercial on television. A town risk?? What the hack does that mean??? Zzzwwwzzzwww.. Oww you mean ‘at own risk!’ Sorry! And that’s how we met.

But the funny thing is.. I never used mushrooms! J

The days after we had a lot of fun. On Friday you mailed me that you had rented an apartment, Prinsengracht 666 sous.

We had a slumberparty in the weekend, and bought the devilshornets. So we went to a pub on the corner and everywhere we did go, we made people happy or just smile. After that we wanted to go to a bardancing, but you eyes were as big as plates en you were chewing your gum real badly, but we were still standing outside. So I said to you: Stop chewing! You look at me and chewing: What?? Stop chewing.

We were next. The guy who was before us couldn’t get in, because he had no lady with him.

So the security looks at us and he said. You can come in, but he can’t. So I asked why not? He said that you had too much to drink! So off we go! It was late, we went to a very lousy bar, but that wasn’t a big success, so we rolled along, back to the devilshouse!

On Sunday I had to go, to say goodbye to my dad, cause my grandmother was very ill. I had to hurry I was running late, so I went to the airport to say goodbye to my dad. On Tuesday (24 April) she died, my dad was too late.

On Monday we went on the scootertour, and I was your own private scooterBOB! We laughed all day. I am not a perfect driver but I’ll try to do better. You just have to trust me on the road, but is was funny to hear you say, wow stop, stop, stop. Watch that car.. Look out!

We went to the windmill in Amsterdam-East. Did some tour in de Pijp. We ended in a pub in de Jordaan.

On Tuesday we have been relaxing, had dinner and chill on the sofa, because you had to go to Prague the next morning at 5.00 am.

So you left to Prague and I kept working at my brothers place being dizzy the whole week.. pff.. too many impressions the last week with you. Seen Amsterdam on the touristside.

On Sunday the 29 April, you arrived at the airport. You wrote: When looking for me... look for the man with no shoes! So I did. You arrived and there I see you with no shoes. People are stairing at you. Walking without shoes from Prague to Amsterdam. You look outside and you see me. And you talk only with your mouth, because I can’t here it. I’m standing on the other side of the wall. But you just say: look I am barefoot, that’s ART!! So you wait till your luggage arrives. A man sees you picking up your luaggage with your easel and he goes like.. Aahh an artist! To his family.

So off we go again with the train to Amsterdam and from there we take the scooter, you, barefeet. And when we are walking, 2 boys passed by nearly 12 years old. Heeyy he has no shoes! Mister what did you do with your shoes? I gave him to a homeless person. And you had your joint in one hand. So the boy askes you: do you have fire??

We went with the ferry to Amsterdam-Noord.

Preparing for the next day. Queens Day!!

So and that morning I woke up because of a telephone call. My friends Roland and Mirjam from Rotterdam were arriving, So I stood up, clean up my house because we made a mess of it. Had to hurry and you too. So when they arrived, we had some coffee and we went to the centre. We started on Waterlooplein. It was a beautiful day, the sun was shining. Everywhere bands, alcohol and orange! A lot of orange!

At first we went to a coffeeshop to get some weed. After that we went back to Waterlooplein. There was like a fleemarket. Boats in the canal with a lot of music. So you found an orange overall. You looked nice in it. J (So gay!)

We lost our friends, cause I had to go to the toilet. Girls started to write something down on that orange thing of yours. But before that you wanted to lite your joint, but you sarted to cough, so I got all of your weed on my t-shirt! And the other girl got the burning ash on her. So you tought that she wrote: go fuck your self! Next day you asked and I said: no it was me! Happilly we didn’t lose each other. Es un milagro! Cause it was croudy, too many people. You lost your jacket, and happily you had taken all our stuff out your pockets from the jacket. Including my phone, I thougt it was still in your jacket, so I went back.. You saw me disappear in the croud.. I didn’t find your jacket. So when I arrived, you had my phone in your hands. I could have kissed you! That was in the gaystreet. Regeluliersdwarsstraat.

We walked trough the canals having fun, drinking, dancing. You were standing next to canal, having fun and dancing. I had to pee, so you say you can do it hear next to the canal. Where everybody could see me. I said no thanx, So we went into a restaurant. There was a very long queue. You said I pay 10 euros if she can go first, and than all the women in front of us gave you a deadly look! We wanted to have some air and we were standing on a bridge. And a guy comes up to you and aske, if you have trousers underneath the overall. And say. Yes. He tells you that his friend fell in the canal, and they need pants. At first you say no, but very quickly you say yes for 10 euros!! So there you were standing on the Keizersgracht taking of your pants, in your underwear changing clothes.

You you really like to party and the guy says ‘oh you really like to party?? I’ve got some tabs. And you ask me ‘can I trust this guy? And I say: yeah and you go: are you sure? An and they said that they had some tabs.. 6. So we took it and went partying on. We took one tab.

I think after that we lost it. Actually before that. When you changed your clothes, you forgot your wallet, almost everything. You had put it on the floor. I say to you, hey your wallet!

We were dancing, laughing and having fun, and writing down things on our shirts.

At the end we had a few more tabs.. We just lost it.. the way I guess, because when you are partying with a lost artist, who likes to walk barefeet from airport to airport you just know that you will lose the way, where you were walking on.

I can remember that we were walking down to the Max Euweplein, and you say to me take of your shoes. So I did. We are dancing but you are really stamping with you feet on the ground and their you go. You stamp right in to something… Autsjj.. A guy said to you hey your bleeding. It was a lot of blood. It was getting late, it was dark I think around 10 o’clock. So we asked if they on a bar outside if they had something to help you. They gave us napkins and we had to go to the emergencyroom.

We went sitting next to the canal and you say to me that I have to pull it out of your heel. Normally I am not that caring haha.. but it did, cause you were in pain.. Haha.. just kidding I don’t think you did feel something that moment.

I am pulling on something but I didn’t know what that was. So you keep saying keep pulling! Jerk on it! I will but it’s huge! And their it was.. a big piece of glass, cause it was so stuck up in your foot I had to pull real hard, and when I was looking what came out of your foot, it was huge!! So we put on our shoes and went to a hotel of a friend of mine. I ask where is Sander? And the guy said, oh the police is looking for him.. Something with fraud..

We had something to drink over there and we could’nt get a cab. But we were so messed up, so we went to another hotel. We entered the hotel and you start, well we did some x but we need to lie down for a moment, the lady starts to laugh, she said well the price is normally 95 euro, but you can get it for 75. J

We went to the room, and their was a scaffolding. You said to me that I had to come and sit outside. I was cold doing too much drugs, so I took the blanket, and we were lying between the construction. We almost fell a sleep underneath the blankets. But than the phone rang. It was Roland, asking where we were. So we had to go home. We picked up our stuff and we called a cab and we took off.

I am walking barefeet now, you are walking behind me. I laugh at you and as I walk downstairs, I slipped and I fell off the stairs. Boingboingboing and off I went. I hear you say something like, oh let me help you.. and off you go also.. haha.. This happens in seconds I wanted to hold on something but I couldn’t, cause you were right behind me. So I had to go all the way off the stairs on my behind. When we reached the floor, we are walking with our arms up high. We are okay! We are okay! With a big smile. The nice lady asked where we were going, and we said.. oh we go home, we only needed to rest, bye!

So that is how our queensday ended.

The day after I started with a new job. When I arrived home we went to mc donalds to eat something. And we went sightseeing windmills. We went to coffeeshop de Dampkring, that ‘s where they filmed oceans 12 and bought some spacecake. That’s better cause the weed gets into the blood J.

On Wednesday we went to Rotterdam. I had a bad day and the weather was lovely.

Rotterdam was nice, but it’s got so much new buildings because the Germans had bombed it in 1940-1945. So I felt a little bit guilty of my mood swing that day. So to cheer us up we went to Scheveningen. A place near the beach. We had dinner and it was such a nice weather. We had dinner as the sun disappeared at the horizon. After that we went to my brothers’ place to trade the car again for the scooter.

On Thursday you picked me up at Central Station en we went to Marco’s place, you had a little moodswing, but anyway we wanted to hav fun so we decided to go and do some karaoke. So we did. I had to sing first, but you know? I can’t sing at all. But I think you noticed that! So you really liked it because you wanted to do more songs, we took a tab, the party starts all over again. We went to a bardancing, but I was so drunk, that I decided to go home on my scooter, but you wouldn’t give me the keys. Blabla.. Anyway I left and you stayed. I went to my scooter, I wanted to go, but then I realized that it wasn’t that responsible.

So I crawled at that moment to a cab. He brought me home. You had one of my phones and at 5.23 hours you called me that you were arriving. And you were with a jewish cab driver, and my ringtone is a sound from southpark, and it has to do with a fucking jew. So when you took the phone out of your pocket, you will hear: Hey you fucking jew! I think he was pissed because you did not arrive at home after 20 minutes, I starte d to worry so I put on my clothes went outside looking for you with my sleepy head. I wait to go downstairs with the elevator and there you are.. The cabdriver left you at the wrong building! Haha!

We did so many things, it is too much. But when I think of you I smile. We are so different from the outside en so much alike from the inside. J

I laughed a lot of all your stories what you had done on this trip. I really loved it, having you around, but now you go back home again, to Stacey and Adria. Bye for now!

Some Song lyrics that fit my current life...

Destination Unknown


I left my job, my boss, my car and my home
I'm leaving for a destination I still don't know
somewhere nobody must have duties at home
And if you like this, you can follow me
So let's go

Follow me
And let's go
To the place where we belong
and leave our troubles at home
Come with me
We can go
To a paradise of love and joy
A destination unknown

Now I won't feel those heavy duties no more
My life gets better now I finally enjoy
Yes all the people wanna come here and so
Come on and join us you can do that now
Let's go

Follow me
And let's go
To the place where we belong
and leave our troubles at home
Come with me
We can go
To a paradise of love and joy
A destination unknown

We left the city, the pollution, the crowd
The air is clear, the ocean's blue, I love that sound
we're happy for this destination we found
And if you want this, you can follow me
Let's go

Follow me
And let's go
To the place where we belong
and leave our troubles at home
Come with me
We can go
To a paradise of love and joy
A destination unknown


TAINTED LOVE


Sometimes I feel I've got to
Run away I've got to
Get away
From the pain that you drive into the heart of me
The love we share
Seems to go nowhere
And I've lost my light
For I toss and turn I can't sleep at night

(chorus)
Once I ran to you (I ran)
Now I'll run from you
This tainted love you've given
I give you all a boy could give you
Take my tears and that's not nearly all
Oh...tainted love
Tainted love

Now I know I've got to
Run away I've got to
Get away
You don't really want IT any more from me
To make things right
You need someone to hold you tight
And you'LL think love is to pray
But I'm sorry I don't pray that way

(chorus...)

Don't touch me please
I cannot stand the way you tease
I love you though you hurt me so
Now I'm going to pack my things and go
Tainted love, tainted love (x2)
Touch me baby, tainted love (x2)
Tainted love (x3)



MY WAY


And now, the end is near;
And so I face the final curtain.
My friend, Ill say it clear,
Ill state my case, of which Im certain.

Ive lived a life thats full.
Ive traveled each and evry highway;
And more, much more than this,
I did it my way.

Regrets, Ive had a few;
But then again, too few to mention.
I did what I had to do
And saw it through without exemption.

I planned each charted course;
Each careful step along the byway,
But more, much more than this,
I did it my way.

Yes, there were times, Im sure you knew
When I bit off more than I could chew.
But through it all, when there was doubt,
I ate it up and spit it out.
I faced it all and I stood tall;
And did it my way.

Ive loved, Ive laughed and cried.
Ive had my fill; my share of losing.
And now, as tears subside,
I find it all so amusing.

To think I did all that;
And may I say - not in a shy way,
No, oh no not me,
I did it my way.

For what is a man, what has he got?
If not himself, then he has naught.
To say the things he truly feels;
And not the words of one who kneels.
The record shows I took the blows -
And did it my way!

THAT'S LIFE


That's life, that's what all the people say.
You're riding high in April,
Shot down in May
But I know I'm gonna change that tune,
When I'm back on top, back on top in June.

I said that's life, and as funny as it may seem
Some people get their kicks,
Stompin' on a dream
But I don't let it, let it get me down,
'Cause this fine ol' world it keeps spinning around

I've been a puppet, a pauper, a pirate,
A poet, a pawn and a king.
I've been up and down and over and out
And I know one thing:
Each time I find myself, flat on my face,
I pick myself up and get back in the race.

I tell ya, I can't deny it,
I thought of quitting baby,
But my heart just ain't gonna buy it.
And if I didn't think it was worth one single try,
I'd jump right on a big bird and then I'd fly

I've been a puppet, a pauper, a pirate,
A poet, a pawn and a king.
I've been up and down and over and out
And I know one thing:
Each time I find myself laying flat on my face,
I just pick myself up and get back in the race

That's life
That's life and I can't deny it
Many times I thought of cutting out
But my heart won't buy it
But if there's nothing shakin' come this here july
I'm gonna roll myself up in a big ball and die
My, My

Queen's Day in Amsterdam

Have you ever seen an entire city cloaked in Orange and bouncing to the sounds of trance music? I have. This is a must see. Even better than Mardi Gras in my opinion... because everybody just wants to dance.