Western Union... thanks Stacie.

So I called Stacie. Hey I'm broke. Can you transfer some money out of my account to a Western Union. She did. It looks like that the foundations of an everlasting friendship are starting to take hold.

My backpack, with laptop, canvases, easel, and oil paints weighs approximately 90lbs. I trekked around all day with no place to stay looking for a Western Union to get cash out of. My feet are severely blistered. By 5pm I was hungry. A very nice young woman from Germany... offered me food in exchange for a painting of Skate Boarders. I told her I was too tired to paint that today. She said tomorrow then. I said OK. She bought me 2 Spring Rolls and a Coke. Well today I over slept and missed her. I gave her my card. So Nicole... if you read this... please email me. I owe you some art. Thanks for the food. I was really hungry. I then traded the Lion painting for some groceries(worth about 10bucks) that are now in my hostel.

Goodbye iPod... I miss you.

So I was talking outside of a disco tech with some people about God. I was telling them that religion has ruined God's name. I was telling them that the only thing Jesus preached was unconditional love for anyone... PERIOD. This fact seems to be lost on most Christians. Apparently it's okay to judge and hate as long as you believe Jesus rose from the dead. What the fuck? That is the silliest thing I've ever heard. All you have to have is unconditional love for your fellow humans... PERIOD. About halfway through this conversation. I felt a hand reach in my pocket in an attempt to steal my iPod. I grabbed his wrist and turned around. I exclaimed, "Are you trying to steal my iPod?" He said "Yes, and the second you walk away from this bar... I'm gonna get it too." So there were about 20 people out there waiting on rides or cabs listening to what they thought was my drunk talk about religion. At this point all eyes were on me. I pulled the iPod out of my pocket and held it in front of his face. I asked if he was hungry. He said no. I asked if he was broke. He said no. I asked then why does he want to steal my iPod? He said because he wanted it. So I then said, "You can have this iPod if you assume the responsibility that comes along with it. Are you willing to have a life of bad karma, sickness, poverty, and pain? Evil and bad luck will follow this iPod as long as it is in your possession everywhere it goes from this moment on. Do you want this stupid fucking iPod so much that you are willing to spend eternity in hell for it?" He said, "Yes."(With a shit eating grin on his face). So I told him, "May you learn the error of your ways by accepting this iPod. May God have mercy on your soul. You have made the wrong choice. The iPod is yours. Bad luck will follow you as long as you posses it. Good luck... I'll pray for your soul." I handed him the iPod. He held it up in victory. He was smiling ear to ear. His friends were not. They were scared. They didn't think it was wise to screw with God like that. So one of the bouncers asked who I was. I told him, "Yo es Dios."(I am God) Then I handed him my business card that has "One free pass into the gates of Heaven" printed on the back. He was absolutely freaked out. He said his religion was now about one thing. Love. Love is the fabric of the universe. And he knows I speak truth. He said Christianity had indeed ruined Jesus' word. And that I was right. He realized I was true when I gave away my iPod. This is where things really fell apart. His friend punched him in the chest and said for him to wise up. Then fueled by alcohol... the scuffle started. There was pushing,screaming,yelling, and punching. English ended and heated Spanish began at a frantic pace. I figured I was gonna get killed or crucified at this point so I jumped in the first cab I saw. Then in a panic I checked my wallet. Not only had he tried to steal my iPod... but he also stole my debit card and all the money I had with me. I told the cabby... and was thrown out immediately. It was a 3am 7 mile walk back to the hostel and check out was at 11am since I had no money. My mouth is going to be the death of me for sure.

Painting Lions

So today I stood out on one of those round abouts at the end of the Rambla. It wasn't nearly as crowded as yesterday's. Mostly young students came by and gawked. They would say something like, "Very Cool." And when I was packing up I got a comment, "Are you finished?" I assume he didn't think so. I was losing light and needed to pack it up. I am not painting these pieces for a gallery or museum. I'm painting for food, lodging and such. So I think it's pretty much done. I've never stood outside in public and just started painting what I see. I'm making lot's of mistakes but they are fun mistakes. So I'm averaging about 1-2 hours per painting. Next week once my sleep pattern syncs up. My goal is to paint 3 paintings a day 5 days a week. So for 3 months of work. I should net a creation of approx. 180 paintings. More paintings than my total life's worth of painting. So is this trip worth it... fucking A! And I've been drawing a lot as well. I think I should get an apartment here to save money... but not sure if I want to move along the coast. There's just so much to paint here. And the people are great.

What is in a name? Depends on the name.

An old man sat down behind me early in the morning when I first setup my canvas. He watched me all day. When I was packing up around 4pm. I asked him in English, "So what do you think?" His English was broken. He replied, "You are a genius." Well that's quite a compliment. I told him my name and asked his. He replied, "Raphael Dali". I nearly blacked out when I heard Dali... I had trouble remembering his first name... until a dear friend whom I called immediately after reminded me. I asked if he was related to Salvador. He grinned and said, "Oh you speak of my blood. I knew Salvador very well." He mentioned something of being a great grandson... which at first I was eager to think it was Salvador's great grandson... but since Dali had no kids... I assume he said he was one of Salvador's close kin's great grandson." I need to take a freakin Spanish class obviously. I checked his ID... and asked if I could photo it for proof. He gave me a look like..." You actually think I'm gonna let you photo my ID?"... and said "no." He was indeed a Dali... the first day here and a Dali(regardless of whose great grandson he was) watched me paint and said I was good. Holy shit! That is fucking cool. I'm still grinning every time I think about it. Like right now.

A painting trade for food.

My first painting of the day. A guy kept passing by. When I was finished he told me it was beautiful. I told him I would let him have it for a Double Whopper meal. His eyes grew. He thought I was joking at first. Finally when he realized I was serious. He belted down the street in search of a Burger King. While he was gone his brother-in-law talked with me. He is an artist as well. He is part of a group in Southern Spain. He said I should go there and he would introduce me to all of the artists. I might. Check out his website, "www.PaintingTherapy.com"

First Day Painting on the streets

My first day of painting. I set up my canvas on the Rambla the busiest street in all of Barcelona. I made a sign in English that said. Art for Food, Housing, or Transportation to Greece in English. I need the same thing in Spanish. Maybe tomorrow? Anyhow I created quite a spectacle. At one point there must have been 30 people standing there watching me paint. I do feel very alive. Not sure if I will be able to swing the free housing... yet. But I'll keep trying. A Spanish sign would probably help.

Drunk in Spain!

A night out of drinking. Would you believe I know everyone in the place now? No more cover charge for Loveless! Who would have thunk it? I'm sure the Mars Bar is breathing a sigh of relief. Now another country has to put up with my bullshit. By the end of the night all of my drinks were free. Everyone that came in was introduced to me... people would say "This is Senior Loveless." Then I'd hear some Spanish spoken with the words "Sin Amor" thrown in. Then there was a big laugh. Apparently a man with no love is quite assuming and worth a free drink. There is one club where there were no free drinks and speaking to the ladies required a credit check. I still no longer have to pay cover here. My friend Raluca works here. She is such a beautiful soul. I paid for her to keep her clothes on and tell me about her life. Damn I'm blessed. She listened to my iPod after the "non-dance" dance. Her favorite song is "It's a wonderful world". Ironic after hearing her life story. When leaving a homeless guy tried to sell me his bike for 10 euros. Instead of buying it I paid 10 euros for a ride. He is now forever my friend. This is me on my 10 euro bike ride. I had trouble riding a straght in a line. Damn I look like shit in this photo... not to mention drunk and crazy! Oh well... that is Senior Loveless!

Raluca. The Romanian Beauty.

She is quite beautiful. I need to draw a picture of her classic face. She hates her nose which I think is her most stunning feature. We're supposed to have dinner together on Friday. I told her my story and plan... she thinks I'm crazy. She told me her story and out of respect I won't write it here. All I can say is be thankful if you are an American. I'll upload a picture if she actually makes it to dinner with me.

Will you marry me? Huh?

Welcome to Barcelona! Apparently no one has blonde hair here. I'm like some kind of freak. I'm assuming it's a good thing. I've had several women ranging from young and beautiful to very old and ugly ask me to marry them. I guess they are tired of looking at tall dark and handsome men?

Leaving for Spain

What a crazy day. This is a picture of me with pretty much everything I own(except my ultralight airplane... I'll sell that later). I have so many loose ends that haven't been tied up. Oh well... Stacie is a great sport, considering how painful the last few months have been. She is handling the sale of my car and other crap I never finished. No matter how much you love someone break ups are never easy. 17 years of being together makes it even worse. Saying goodbye at the airport was especially painful. We both sobbed realizing that we'd probably never live under the same roof again.

This morning Adria met me at Pike's Market to say goodbye. She even gave me a new fresh journal to draw in. What a cool chic. She understands my love for Stacie and how painful it's been... she is a great listener... but I think she still isn't totally understanding of my love for her. I do have to say... she is awfully reluctant to throw me a good kiss. I'll work on that in 90 days. I so wanted to take her breathe away but instead felt like a 12 year old attempting to kiss a girl for the first time. Not really the way I wanted her to remember me... but oh well. I tried. Goodbye cold, rainy Seattle.

Adam Goldberg's wife is no longer with us

I found out tonight from my life long best friend John Paul Leonard that Adam's wife died last year from Lupis. Adam has always been a deep soul and fan of my work. John told me he helped hang Salvador Dali prints at his house in Kennesaw, GA this afternon. I made a promise to John that I would bury "one free pass to heaven" (inspired by Pope Dano) for Rachel on the beach in front of Dali's house. May Rachel rest in peace. She was a beautiful soul... whose time was tragically cut short. A reminder of why my journey is so important. Time here is short. Make the most of it.

Adria... My New Muse

Her name is Adria. She works as a bartender at the Mars Bar. She is a writer, singer, artist and muse. When my life started to fall apart she was there to witness it. She immediately made an attempt to heal my heart by trying to buy me a subscription to my favorite art magazine "Juxtapose". She knew I needed to quit my job and took my Adobe badge and pinned it to the wall. I went back the next day to retrieve it. Little did I know 7 months later my badge would be permanently pinned to that wall by her. When I'm in her presence I feel like home. I've always had a little crush on her... but it was only a crush. Thursday January 18th 2007 my feelings for her changed. I went to tell her I had quit my job and was moving to Spain. She spent some time with me after work... I realized that night that I was truly in love with her.

It was time to leave. The bar was closed. I stood out in the cold with the doors locked behind me. As I waited in the cold for a cab I realized that the girl I loved was in there and I was out here. It was at that precise moment that my anger for this fucked up situation and stupid heart of mine set in. It was at that moment that I realized I was going to have more than a door between us... probably forever. I was going to be on the other side of the planet and our lives were most probably going to fork forever. She would never be mine. I started yelling at the Mars bar and banging on the glass... I needed her attention... I needed for her to feel my pain. I think deep down I wanted her to hate me so I could I could hate her. It was too painful to fathom going to Spain with these feelings in my heart. When she came out, I yelled "Fuck you Adria!" I wanted her to say "You're an asshole and I don't want to ever see you again.", but she didn't. I texted messaged her on my way home "U suck". She once again felt my pain and called to make sure I was ok. Why wouldn't she tell me she hated me and never wanted to see me again? Why? I don't know why. All I know is I am in love with her and will always be in love her... and now there is the huge hole in my heart because I know she will never be mine... and I must go on a journey alone without her.

Thank you so much for making me love again. Even when I'm hurting I feel alive in a great way... my heart aches for you... and it feels great. This pain actually feels so good. I am so alive. I love you. Thanks for inspiring me the way Stacie did when I was a kid.

My plan of action

Next week I will be on an airplane to Barcelona Spain. My first stop will be Salvador Dali's house in Port Lligat. I have allowed myself one week of cash to get settled. After that my plan is to live a life that does not include the exchange of cash. Of course in a dire situation I have my nest egg to draw from. My goal is to paint on the streets and barter paintings for food, lodging, transportation, etc. I realize that art has no monetary value. Art is in the world to inspire to others... I am in the world to inspire others. I hope that with every exchange of art I will create a story for the person that aquired my art through exchange of something. In doing this I feel that my life will be art, I will be art, I will be happy, I will die with a smile on my face.

A new life begins

My whole life I have dreamed about one thing... being a great artist. However, I have not been living that dream. The moment has come to start that journey. I quit my job as a software engineer at Adobe Systems. I've given away all of my art that has been sitting hidden away in storage. I committed to my divorce from my eternal love Stacie. Her place as a muse in my life is final... and I hope that we will be friends forever. I have rid myself of all my material possessions. Save one thing. A substantial amount of cash in my checking account.